Inspiring a Yoga Practice

Most people who have a passion about their yoga practice, have a story how practicing yoga changed their life. Bikram yoga changed my life at the age of 27, and became the catalyst that changed the trajectory of my life from pain and depression to vibrant health and pain management through yoga. Along the way, I have learned many lessons, and for me, they all come down to my personal matra, searching for the balance between effort and ease.

The story of my yoga journey begins when I was 13. My mother was an incredible athlete, but she did not know what to do with a child who liked to do headstands and cartwheel up and down the stairs, so she sent me to dance and gymnastics class.   She was very supportive of my dance activities until my teacher moved away in late elementary school. I think leaving dance was a huge mistake, but at the time, I decided I needed a break and chose to play soccer in middle school instead of finding a new dance teacher.

Middle school in suburban upper-middle class northern California was a terrible time in my life.   I really struggled trying to find my way with friends. It seemed that every other week there was some new rumor about me I had to contend with. I did not seem to get how rumors, that were not even true, could be so painful, and leave you feeling so isolated.  There was a lot of emotional bullying and I found it hard to feel confident and stand up for myself.  I also feel this time in my life taught me many lessons that I draw from to this day.

Things changed in an instant

At the end of my 8th grade soccer season, I started limping, and I couldn’t stop. My mother took me to an Orthopedic, and upon xraying my hip, he did not see anything and told my mother that I needed a psychologist, assuming I wanted attention since there was nothing medically wrong with me.

During the next 3 months, I felt like I was going crazy as I could not stop limping. My mother was convinced I was just “used” to limping and should practice walking normal, and all my teachers thought I was faking. The few friends I had disappeared, and I was completely alone at school.

During these 3 months, there were return visits to the doctor, each one (he never x-rayed my hip again thinking it was nothing) brought a new diagnosis; arthritis, bursitis and tendonitis. He even gave me a cortisone shot thinking I just had some inflammation. (This issue, of misdiagnosis would also resonate with me many years later while practicing yoga with Bikram)

At the end of the 3 months, I was in so much pain, I borrowed some crutches from a friend. I didn’t know how to use them and the first day I went up some stairs and fell, in shock and unable to move.  After the ambulance took me to the hospital in agony, my Orthopedic showed up and leaned over me and said, “Well, there is definitely something wrong with that hip!” he had missed that it had been slipping for 3 months, and had now broken. This should have been caught and dealt with months before. But his arrogance had lead me to this point.

My parents got rid of him immediately and got a new surgeon who operated a few days later. He explained to me I had something called a slipped Capital femoral epiphysis.  Basically I broke my hip at the growth plate, and my previous orthopedic had missed it. My life would have gone much differently had the original guy caught it and operated on it before it broke. By missing it, he set me up for some serious arthritis and a hip replacement when I was 42. But let me not get so ahead of myself.

I should make a brief note that this issue is very rare and usually happens in boys who are short and obese. They missed it on the tall, skinny girl. But while I was growing up, people had a blind faith in   doctors and their opinions. No one ever thought to question his opinion or second guess him. I knew there was something wrong with me, but I was still too young to be my own medical advocate, and my mother was from a generation that had a blind trust and faith in western medicine and your doctor.

I was very lucky that my surgery went very well, and the doctor put 3 pins to hold my hip together. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks where I learned some other lessons. Drugs constipate the hell out of you and they didn’t do anything about that until it was too late, and I could tell you that story, but it would be TMI! I was home for another 2 months recovering and on crutches for 4 months while my hip joint strengthened.

To be honest, breaking my hip was very satisfying emotionally in the sense that I wanted to say to everyone, “I TOLD YOU THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG!!” Even though all of my “friends” came to visit, I also realized that none of those girls were my friends. I learned a lot about the meaning of true friendships from that situation.

Adult Realities

I loved working in retail and spent 3 years working for my beloved Bullocks. (currently Macys.) I spent 3 years in retail, and 5 years in shoe wholesale. I loved being in the shoe business. Travelling was great and I loved helping the buyers drive their businesses. It was an education watching smart independent shoe boutique buyers choose shoes (including my favorite Jeffrey of Jeffrey in New York) I loved the whole businesses and it was an amazing learning experience for my later yoga studio life.

Everything changed out of the blue one day, while I was “working” in Hawaii visiting a Nordstrom store. I started limping. It came out of nowhere, and it did not stop. I remember that after my surgery, my doctor had told me that I would have arthritis when I was older, (translation to my 13 year old brain, that’s old, like 50 or something), so when I started having problems in 1996 at 27, I could not imagine what was going on.

I went to a very renowned orthopedic office at Cedars Sinai in LA. They took both x-rays and MRI. The doctor then said that the lack of blood flow from my hip breaking had lead to degenerative arthritis and a deformation in my hip joint. He said there was nothing I could do about it, anything physical would just make it happen faster, and that in the next 5 years I would need a hip replacement. In addition he gave me 2 or 3 prescription drugs and an anti-inflammatory for the pain and inflammation.

I sunk into a depression. I knew I was not dying and should get over myself, but I was just devastated. I did not know if anyone would ever want to be with me or if I would ever have kids. (In time of personal crisis I seem to go to drama first, until I reflect and move to another more productive emotion.)

At the same time, I started having back pain. Part of it was just being a 22 year old working in a Bullocks stock room and throwing my body around with zero respect, and a few little car accidents that did not help the situation. In Early 2008 I was referred to a Sikh chiropractor. Waheguru Khalsa was my entry into eastern philosophy, and holistic or whole body healing and integrated medicine. He was an excellent chiropractor, but was also very in tune with many other happenings in my life. He and his wife are lovely, generous and incredible people, and I wish I still lived near him now. The complementary approach to his practice opened my mind to the possibility of yoga as a healing tool.

The first yoga I practiced was actually kundalini both with Yogi Bhajan and Ghurmukh in her house. She is now an international Sikh celebrity with many celebrity clients and has yoga studio in LA that is massive called Golden Bridge. I will also say that I did yoga with Gurmukh and many celebrities back then and also got an insight into the reality that everyone has their shit they are trying to work through. I will also say that Waheguru and his wife were my education in beginning to understand the effects of nutrition on the body. (At a yoga conference Yoga Bhajan actually called me up when I raised my hand to try to heal me of my sugar addiction, but I will save the rest of that story for another time.)

After my bad news, I continued going to the gym 3 times a week like I had consistently done throughout my 20’s (step aerobics anyone??) Five months later I went to Denver, Colorado for a work trip and stayed with friends. They were lovely and the second night I was there, Eric’s mom (Beth) invited me to go with them to a Bikram Yoga class. I had no idea what I was getting into.  .

I was absolutely fascinated after my first class. I told Beth about my arthritis and she went and grabbed Bikram’s book and Bikram said he could help alleviate the symptoms of arthritis. Even better, Bikram himself and international headquarters were 10 minutes from my home on Miracle Mile in Los Angeles.

Teaching Bikram Yoga

The following year I made the decision to quit my successful corporate job, and attend Bikram’s teacher training. It was a big step, but this yoga had totally changed my life and I was hoping I could inspire others to change theirs.

After 11 weeks, I graduated in May 1998. When I went to teacher training, I did not have a very solid post graduation plan. I thought I would teach privates and do temp work. It was one of the few times in my life I followed my gut without much of a plan. Toward the end of training, Bikram asked us where we might like to open a studio. I had not even thought about, but he was in LA, so I could not open there, and Weezy had moved to Pasadena which was still the LA area, so I mentioned it sheepishly when he asked me.

It was the second, but not the last time, that Bikram’s eyes lit up and he looked at me like he could see my soul and said in the loudest, clearest voice, “that is the best idea.” That day, without a shadow of a doubt, I knew I was moving to Pasadena to open a yoga school.

I opened Bikram Yoga Pasadena in Nov 1998 and have never turned back. I actually met my husband in Pasadena and we now have 2 little girls. I expanded and remodeled in March 2103. I still love my Bikram Yoga School and love teaching and practicing yoga. I am excited about this new journey of Yogival.com to expand on my experiences and reach a new audience.